Saturday, September 3, 2011

S turns 23 *fireworks*

It was my birthday.. till half an hour back.
I turned 23. It, somehow, does not sound like a nice number to me. It is a tricky age. One is neither here or there. I like the sound of 27. In my mind, I would be a wise-independent-mature woman at 27. Right now, I am just naive and unsure. World is revealing itself to me. I am finding myself, losing myself, regaining myself. And in the process leaving behind ashes.

Recently I read this somewhere..
And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.
- Khalil Gibran

And suddenly I felt my whole life flashed in front of my eyes. It was a weird feeling.

This birthday was weird in a similar way. My birthday happened to fall between the long weekend and I bunked my office. That was a good feeling. The entire prospect of a four-day-long weekend was exciting. But that zest soon fizzled out, as usual. That was not the weird bit.

At 00:00 with a glass of wine in hand, chocolate mousse cake on my lips and a bunch of roses on my lap- what more could I have asked for. That was to be a perfect moment. But it did not feel that way. That was weird. I was in a secluded state of mind. I did not want to be disturbed. I was laughing, rolling all over. At that moment, my world was only that. I did not want to talk to anybody else, other than the people I had with me that time. And through the night, that feeling stayed till the next day. I didn't want to talk to people on my birthday. Messages were a lot more comfortable mode of communication. This was weird. In general terms, I would have called myself sad. It was a brooding mind at work. What better day to introspect than your birthday?

And then it was over. Without any fireworks.

P.S: I am a dreamer. I dream a lot.


  1. Belated Happy Birthday! Yep.. 23 sounds strange. But 27 will be reached only after a weird 23 :)

    Here is a quote on your birthday:
    "Finish the day and be done with it. You have done what you could."~R.W.Emerson

    It is okay to retrospect on the b'day- some goods things , some bad things.. but the bad things shouldn't get you down. You have done what you could and now you have whole of the present. :)

    CHeers!! :]

  2. :-)
    Happy Birthday!
    Maybe someone has better plans for you, no fireworks, but something more subtle :)

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  3. Happy bday!!!
    This was my bday post which is also the first post of my blog! And neither did i have any fireworks!! :)

  4. @ Sameera:
    :) That was a lot of cheer.
    Thank you for all your wishes.

    @ Blasphemous Aesthete:
    Thank you :) Subtle should meet Lady Gaga!

  5. @ Whuaat?:
    Thank you :)

    @ Rohan:
    Thank you :) Will hop on and check out.

  6. Happy birthday S. Let's see when you do become "wise, independent and mature", if you miss being "naive and unsure" :)

    Have a wonderful year ahead :)

  7. I turn 27 next year. And trust me, 23 is a great year to be. U may sound young and weird, but there's also so much more to look forward to, so much more to do and much more energy! I'd love to be 23 again...!

    Happy belated bday!

  8. Happy Birthday! :)
    I know what you mean. I hate being 23 - too confusing! I want to be 27 too! :)

  9. completely get the whole not wanting to be 23! i think even 24/25 are better ages than 23! but well its your bday and regardless of what number it is; its one day to make a complete fuss abt urself! :)

    despite the brooding, hope u had a fun day! :)

  10. oh and i forgot, happy belated bday! :)

  11. Wish you a very happy birthday S! and beleive me there is nothing special at 27 ;) , you will have the similiar thoughts at that time too:P

  12. @ Blunt edges:

    Thank you :) I will come back to this after 4 years.

    @ Ashwathy:

    Thank you :) grass is always greener on the other side.

  13. @ Preeti:

    We have way too many similarities :) Let's wait for 27 and exchange notes :P

    @ Sunshine:

    thank you so much.. yes i did have a lot of fun (though this post may indicate a different story)

  14. @ Neha:

    haha.. yea, may be :)
    thank you for birthday wishes.

  15. lol, ur posts always indicate a different story! :) well that's how blogging is i facet to a whole day is what gets written! :)

  16. @ Sunshine:

    haha :)i am planning to write a sequel to this.. and shine some bright light on my seemingly sad budday :)

  17. B'lated Happy B'day!! Hope u had a gr8 one. :)

  18. Happy belated Birthday S! 23 totally rocks!!! I've been there :-)

    Hey, pls pls also join the Joy of Giving exercise on my blog....

  19. Hey, a very happy belated birthday to you. You know, it isn't really weird, to feel that way, the way you were, on your birthday.

    It's like.

    You want to watch the fireworks, without any sound. You feel like walking alone, yet, being followed by some. Talking, without hearing voices. You want peace, more than anything... but, the kind of peace which disturbs you in a pleasant way. You want to be wild, but in a tame way. You want to notice everyone, without them noticing you. Or, something, like that? The drift?

    And by the way. Do NOT watch 23, to screw your mind more with anything, if at all. Oh, damn it, I could have saved all that for another post. :)

  20. belated happy birthday...i guess 23 is good... though i have 3 years until i reach there

  21. Hey S :)
    Happy belated birthday :) (Am I too late for the party? ;-)) 23? 27? Aren’t they just numbers? :D
    Believe me there will be no change even when we reach 27 or 28. Life can be enjoyed best in present moments.

    Don’t lose 23 thinking about 27. Start enjoying being 23 and make lots and lots of memories which can last forever.
    “Dill tho abhi bacha hai ji” !!! Remember? :)

    ROFL at “Fatally curious”?, “Promising optimist”??, “wannabe exercise freak”??, “a retired prodigy”????-The way you wrote it is awesome and quite creative. : )

    By the way the blog template’s shade is cute...pretty pretty
    (Green Green beauty Queen; I know you like pretty Green :P)
    Take Care...
    **Feels sad about missing the cake and slowly clicks the publish button**

  22. @ Ritu:

    Thanks for all the wishes :)
    I have been reading the Joy of Giving posts on your facebook page.. but not quite 'following' it myself :P busy busy :( with work all the time.. no time to breathe..

  23. @ Arijit:

    That explanation was brilliant.. just The state of my mind :) Thank you for all your wishes.

    @ Ganpati:

    Thank you :)

  24. @ Asif:

    Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy... you are back!! Where were you????? :) :) :) I am so glad you are back.. I need to get back too :D

    Thank you for all the wishes.

    O by the way.. that chocolate mousse cake was TERRIFIC! *evil grin*

  25. Your comments on my comments always make me smile reaaalllllll wide :)... was missing it!
    Got swamped actually... :(
    Hoping and wishing you to come back soon and eagerly waiting :)
    ***TERRIFIC ???Looks here and there... Evil Grin??? Eeeeeee***

  26. Readin it too late I believe, I don't know how it missed my feeds...Belated Happy B'day dear...
    I happen to b around a year older than you...and I probably can understand what you felt like...last b'day I had, I wanted no one to wish me...the girl who never slept bfor 2 in night was ready to put the cell on silent n sleep at 11 itself :)
    But then, this is life..and thinking about past is good, but thinking about future is more important!!
    Trying to cut it short...wishing that you have a great year ahead...


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